Say hello to the Rebel Outcast archetype
Many of the parents who are drawn to unschooling tend to be agitators.
People who refuse to comply with the status quo.
We’ve often spent a lot of time on the edges.
We are often the black sheep of the family.
These black sheep and edge-walkers are an archetype present through all ages and cultures on earth. They have a unique role in society, to loudly draw attention to oppressive and defunct rules/ perspectives/ infrastructure either by fighting it or refusing to comply.
Those of who live out of this energy – often called the “Outcast Archetype” or the “Rebel Archetype” – can be both deeply aware of the power of this clear seeing, but also feel the burden of it, most often felt through rejection and isolation due to our inability to go along with the norm.
When it comes to unschooling, the Rebel Outcast cannot ignore the way that school wounded them, cannot send their kids into a system so perfectly designed to shape them into people pleasers, cannot help but point out all the many ways that school humiliates and shames anyone who doesn’t fit in.
Without the rebels society would never change. The rebel unschooler’s life allows all of society to re-imagine education and childhood for upcoming generations.
Our intuition is clear, and our role is important.
However, following our intuition often leads to exclusion or rejection from close family and friends, our village, society at large.
In Toko-Pa Turner’s book “Belonging” she describes it thus:
“…the black sheep are the artists, visionaries and healers of our culture, because they are the ones willing to call into question those places which feel stale, obsolete, or without integrity. The black sheep stirs up the good kind of trouble. Her very life is a confrontation with all that has been assumed as tradition. Her being different serves to bring the family or group to consciousness where it has been living too long in the dark. As the idiom implies, she is the wayward one in the flock. Her life’s destiny is to stand apart. But paradoxically, it’s only when she honours that apartness that she finally fits in.”
Being the Rebel Outcast can be painful and lonely. Sometimes it means we are isolated and we stop developing skills around community. We get used so used to going our own way that our sense of belonging becomes collateral damage.
But the thing to know about the Rebel Outcast is that along their journey they eventually find allies that allow them to begin to offer belonging and shelter to others.
They go from being the rejected to being a shelter to others in pain.
Our outcast energy transmutes into radical acceptance and we can go from misfit to mover shaker.
Are you a Rebel Outcast?
If so, I just want to see you and honour you. You are vital. Your questioning and resistance (even if it is quiet and feels small) is essential.
How to transmute from “misfit” to “mover shaker”
1- Heal the wounds
No biggy, welp. There are so many ways to heal and you are probably already doing this bit, any therapy and will be nudging you along. One of my favourite ways is to put on meditative music and revisit painful times in my life, times I felt abandoned and rejected. I use my imagination to envision myself being bathed in soothing light, to re-feel that experience but with a deep sense of love at my core.
2- Raise lovers
The likelihood of you raising a Rebel Outcast is hiiiiigh. Solidarity to you because the way Rebel Outcasts can’t help but defy authority certainly adds a twist to your unschooling. But your choice to unschool is PERFECT because Rebel Outcasts thrive when they are trusted.
As you heal out loud, they get to experience the world with a different lens. This can look like moving about the world as if it is a friendly place, greeting strangers, pausing to breathe in the community of living things (plants can be a lot easier for Rebel Outcasts to appreciate than other humans!) and reflecting openly on how you are trying to nurture community and belonging in your own life.
Perfect segue, lalaaaaa:
3- Nurture community
Recognise that in your circles, you are probably surrounded by Rebel Outcasts. It’s why groups/ conversations/ meetings can get so awkward sometimes. Lol. Once you notice this you can begin to offer friendship and love without fear of re-abandonment, knowing that every one is as worried of rejection as you are.
Stop seeking rejection (for example, looking at your instagram comments to see who’s hating on you now / analysing every sigh and raised eyebrow in every meeting) and rest in your unique ability to connect with other misfits/ loners/ outcast/ rebels.
Are you inspired to reclaim and love on the Rebel Outcast within you? I love hearing from you!